A compliment is something both men and women desire and enjoy getting. From basically “Gee, you smell great!” to “Thanks-just for being you,” for compliments make us feel good about and appreciate ourselves … especially when they come from those we care about the most. It is kind of strange to think the biggest and best comment you could possibly give to a person is also most often overlooked. Actually, some would think it an insult at first blush, though it is so much more than that.

So, what’s the greatest compliment you can give or receive from someone, let’s say good friends? Simple, it is “I do not need you.”Now hold on a second. Do not go off thinking I have totally lost it. I realize you might be thinking I’m nuts, but give me two minutes to explain and I promise you’re going to have to change your mind. This is easy to achieve by simply understanding the meaning of the word need.

Yes, I know a person somewhere said “All folk want to feel needed,” but that’s not exactly true. The truth is all people want to feel wanted. See, a “need” is something which someone must have so as to live, to survive. And while I get that many folks occasionally feel we wouldn’t be able to make it through the days and weeks without that special person by our side, the reality is-we could easily do without them.

Now think about this: are you with your present partner since you feel you could not survive without them simply due to the fact that they take care of things you cannot or won’t do or provide things you do not feel you can get on your own? Or are you with your partner because though you know that you could and would survive without them, you want them in your life just because you love them?

In the first example, it is possible your partner might soon start to think you only wanted them around for what they could bring or give to you-like a paycheck. I couldn’t tell you how many men I have heard say their wives only stayed with them for the money that they had. On the other hand, sex is another issue which is a concern of most ladies on its essence in a relationship. Again, I have heard many more women having complained that their partner only kept them around for sexual interests.

Which would you prefer to have in your life? Someone that wanted you for what you could give/bring, or instead someone who wants you for *you* with no strings attached and no conditions? That’s the sole reason that explains why I believe the biggest, most grand compliment you can give or be given is to love for love’s sake and nothing else. So we both now agree with the phrases; “I don’t need you-but I love you.”

What do you think in that case?

The writer,Tom Nikenya, is one of the members of team Nikenya. Visit their website for plenty of information, including details on the key to happiness.