“Irritable! That is how I frequently feel!” And upon checking with my other half, she concluded. Unusual as it'd appear we both realized something wasn't right, separately, on the same day, after 18 months of struggle.

Because of the realisation the consuming outrage that would rise up without warning was really a sign that I was reaching my end – I was depressed. What a revelation that was; to understand there had been a way out, but that that way out meant admitting my weakness. And then an irony appeared; the instant I admitted my need for help, in that moment – that actual moment – hope drew near.

Irritability is a tell-tale sign of depression, particularly in males.

Something would go ‘wrong ‘ and I'd flip into a rage, even if I was alone or no-one else spotted; within me I was beside myself with fury. And at the same time part of me was asking, in a desperate state of confusion, “What’s going on here, Steve?!”

Such fits of anger were tiring, and though fortuitously there was usually no visible harm created, there was much religious torture that wanted to be reconciled. I was out of control and did not understand how to revive that control.

But the word irritation – or cantankerous – got me wondering. It hit me in a moment of openness of heart and mind. God used that word to reveal his truth. My irritation with the sign I was depressed. I had fought the best I could, in my strength, for 18 months. Now was the time to truly admit my weakness and find help.

WHY ANGER Is Sometimes THE SIGN OF DEPRESSION

Why would we get unreasonably indignant otherwise, unless our inner world was in flux?

Sometimes outrage is all we have left to rail against a world we will neither understand nor work with. That world, for who knows what reason or reasons, has given us cause to feel rejected in some way. All we have left is outrage. And self-righteousness is the driver, because justice has not been served – in the opinion of the depressed attitude.

Anger reveals sadness for the difficulties of disregard in our lives we have no control of. And it doesn't take a great deal to feel beyond control.

When we admit our unhappiness nevertheless , because we have realized the task hate is playing, the trail to recovery opens up – regardless of the despair inside our circumstance. When there is a need, get professional help to assist you, before it has effects on your life and make you ned up in debt for cultivating nasty habits!

***

Uncharacteristic irritation can be a sign of the sadness of depression. Sometimes all we have left is resentment; but on realizing our need for help, to confess that, opens a path to recovery. If we are fair about fury we could very well see the sadness underneath. Such unhappiness is an invitation to be explored, to be certified, and to be wrestled with. As soon as we do these things the door to hope swings ajar and then wide open.

Peggy Chen is a mechanical engineer in Asia overseeing the implementationg and problem-fixing of plants reporting budgeting and proposals. During her off days she likes to do some travelling and sight seeing. Level-headed and honest character she makes a good buddy and consultant to people around her.