For whatever reason I would seemingly become confrontational and aggressive over the simplest of things. I would often struggle to comprehend why a person could be so nasty to me and would, I suppose, want to punish them in my own way. I wanted to teach them a lesson which would help them to mend their ways. The only way I could think of responding was by shouting at them, threatening them or by using violence against them.

Now before I continue I would like to make it clear that I do not work within the “anger management industry”; I personally am involved with various projects to do with offering cheap phone calls; offering people advice regarding becoming a foster carer and I also run a stuttering therapy course.

I will give you an example of a situation where a person basically cheated me out of a large sum of money. I was looking at turning my front garden into a driveway and I had a number of people around to the house, all of which gave me a quote for the work.

I decided to accept a quote from John who seemed a very nice and trustworthy man. Him and his team spent a couple of days laying the drive during which I was keeping them well supplied with foods and drinks, we all got on very well.

He advised me not to park my car on the new drive for a few days to let it settle and become hardened. I waited a week and then drove my car onto the new driveway. To my horror the driveway dipped and I later found out from a friend that they had not put any hardcore (I think that is what it is called) down.

I tried to contact John but he did not answer his phone, I went round to see him and he would not answer his door. I became more and more angry and started to plan my revenge.

Walking away

I had many options through the courts which I could and did pursue. John was fully prepared to accept responsibilty however he did not have the funds to pay back the cash.

It is far from easy but I am now able to turn the other cheek and to walk away from any potential trouble – there are times however when I feel that a cetain person deserves a bit of a slap. This is not just from the situation above but from any similar event.

When me wife annoys me, I will just walk away to compose myself. I was once told to count to ten which is certainly a good idea. Being angry, like the way I always used to be, is not good for my health and causes me to become stressed, to become depressed and to lose sleep.

It may well seem strange to the readers of this article however people for me are now like apples in a bucket. Out of ten apples, three will be rotten. Instead of feeling angry at the rotten apples, I feel sorry for them.

I firmly believe in God and have now decided that I do not need to seek any form of revenge as he will be judge and jury on judgement day. At this stage these people will have nowhere to hide.

Living life this way is far easier for me and I only wish I had had this approach and form of anger management technique, years ago.